Happy 6 month Birthday Baby Blueberry

So yesterday was Gracie's 6 month birthday in heaven. It was an extremely interesting day. I would have never guessed that it would go this way.

I ended up being very sick and ended up registering at the hospital with the woman who admitted me when I delivered Gracie. Today my doctor suspects that I have gallbladder problem so he sent me for an ultrasound.

I sat in the waiting room stairing in the office of that admitting lady, trying to hold back the flash backs, when guess which ultrasound tech comes to get me? The same one I had when we first became aware that Gracie had heart problems. Flashbacks were rampant and tears on the verge. She asked my name and date of birth and I barely could say it without my voice cracking. I was already flashing to the day I found out Gracie had died and would give birth to her. Now I'm flashing to when the ultrasound tech kept taking the picture after picture of Gracie's heart but wouldn't tell me a thing. Today she wouldn't tell me anything either. "I don't have credentials to make any guesses."

So we leave the hospital and after not having anything to eat for over 24 hours at this point and the nausea is reeaaallly bad, the only thing that sounds good: BlueRaspeberry ICEE. The only thing that sounded good when I was pregnant with Gracie and having morning sickness: BlueRaspberry ICEE. Well at least this is a good memory to reflect on her 6 month birthday. Who would have thought that I would enjoy thinking of the morning sickness I had when I was pregnant with her and she was still with us.

Still don't know what's wrong with me. The ultrasound showed nothing wrong with the gallbladder. Still running more tests.

Baby blueberry, sweet Gracie, I wish you were here with us today. I've been missing you soo much!! I love you sweet girl.

Thank you BB for thinking of my girl:)