We're laying low at the Miller home today. We didn't plan anything extravagant because of our budget crunch, paying for the medical bills that did not bring us a healthy baby (ok I guess I'm a little bitter over this especially paying a doctor who tried to make us feel dispicable for allowing Gracie to live.) I am grateful for most of the medical care I recieved and I realize that if this had happened to me in a third world country, chances are I would have died so I am thankful for being alive. The one thing I was looking forward to today was going to church but then Gavin started getting a cold and a terrible cough so we decided not to spread the germs and stayed home. We exchanged cards and have been invited over to my inlaws for lunch. And I did get to sleep in because Laiman got up with Gavin, and I should be grateful for that.
The lovely picture of Gracie's candy is from Bryston's mom, Jenn at The Blue Sparrow. Check out her blog post of all the lost babies she made candies for. So sweet of her to recognize all these babies. So sad that there are so many.
As I type this I can see I need an attitude adjustment and to snap out of this negativity. I'm going to try and look for the joy in this day without my baby girl somehow. The sun is shining now, maybe I can soak some of it up.
I'm gonna make pancakes with strawberry jam for Gavin and I know he will like that.
Oh and if you think of it can you pray for Grace's mom, Megan. She lost her Grace 4 weeks ago and she is going back to work tomorrow, she's a nurse who works with high risk pregnant women and labor and delivery. I know it seems impossible to do this so would you send up some prayers for her, to the God of the impossible.