Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Balloon Tribute To Gracie

This is one of the spots where Laiman and I spent our first Christmas together. The first time we were here it was so romantic, it was really cold but it was not raining and it was dark enough for the Christmas lights to be on. Yesterday it wasn't nearly as romantic, it was raining and it wasn't dark enough for the lights to be on yet. One of the balloons wouldn't fly up because it was getting so wet and heavy from the rain. And I felt like I had dragged Laiman and Gavin down there and they weren't in to it. I have come to realize that we all grieve differently and I just need to allow him to grieve in his quiet way. Some of us want closure immediately and some of us need more time.

This is one of our favorite spots to go to on the lake when it rains. Its at the end of our street. This is where Gavin and I go to blow bubbles when it's raining because there's a covered shelter. And this is where I felt a very strong God presence a few weeks ago when Gavin and I were down here. I felt it again today and felt at peace and had some closure knowing that Gracie is being cared for by the best, Jesus, up in heaven. I felt cared for too.

Two ladies were taking there walk right by us as we let the balloons go. A few minutes later, they came down where we were at the lake and said, "we're just dying to know why you let those balloons go. " So of coarse I explained our story and they both gave me a big hug. One of the ladies said her brother had a still born baby. I felt like two angels were there to comfort me.

God is good and he takes care of us.

I don't want to forget what Gavin said to me earlier today. He wanted to see my tummy again and I reminded him that Gracie isn't in my tummy anymore, she's in heaven. Gavin says "with Jesus." I'm so amazed that he understands this enough to remember and repeat what I said several days ago. And then I'll never forget this, he still wanted to look at my tummy and says "another baby?" And I said there might be another baby again someday and maybe next time we'll get to take her home. He seemed very satisfied with this idea.

Another way that God cared for me today was at the grocery store. Many of you know how much of a couponer I am. And there are certain items that I usually can get for free or almost free and then I stockpile them so I don't ever have to pay full price for these items. Well paper plates, bowls and cups are one of those things. And yes, I do care for the environment but sometimes I allow myself the luxury of paper plates so I don't have to do dishes. Well we have been out of paper plates for some time and this month I haven't had the time or energy to put into couponing that it takes to get these items for free. But while I was at the grocery store today, they had Chinette paper plates on sale plus they had a "blinkie" coupon for $1.00 off right next to them. I didn't get them for free but I got them for a lot cheaper than full price and I felt like God was saying you don't need to do dishes for a few weeks, I'm giving you a break.

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