I have to be honest and say that I have been down in the dumps these last few days. It started out as just a numbness but today I feel exhausted, angry, hurt and negative. I don't want to deal with this anymore and it would be nice to pretend it isn't happening but there are too many things that remind me that it is. I want to enjoy Christmas, but I haven't been feeling very well and my back hurts and I haven't had the energy to do some of the fun things that I usually enjoy this time of year.
I ordered some cute things for Gracie, little leggings with ruffles at the ankles, a preemie sized tutu, a blueberry crocheted hat. I couldn't believe I found this preemie sized blueberry hat, handmade, and we have called Gracie "Blueberry" from early on in the pregnancy because I was always sick and had to have BlueRaspberry Icees like constantly. I also ordered little crocheted shoes with a perwinkle flower on them, a headband with a flower that attaches to the headband or can be attached to a hat I also purchased and the flower can attach to clothing, a name bracelet for me that says "Gracie" on it and a matching name bracelet for Gracie that says "mamma" on it. It was so fun to pick these things out but also very hard because this is my first little girl that I get to dress up and I want to keep dressing her up and not ever stop dressing her up. I also fear that these things won't arrive in the mail in time and how horrible would that be if I didn't get to dress up my little girl before it was too late.
By the way if you are looking for handmade gifts for Christmas I highly recommend going to Etsy. In fact I may now be completely addicted to Etsy. It's really hard to tear away from their website just to warn you. It's like a on-line Christmas bizarre or if you're from Eugene it's like the Holiday Market at the fairgrounds, but with way more stuff that is mostly handmade from all over the world!! Tons and tons of cute little girl things that I haven't been able to find at the store and even better than buying from the store where everything is manufactured in China!
I hope I don't drag anyone down by this post but I just felt like I needed to be honest with how things are going.